Hi there,
December has this way of bringing everything to the surface, doesn't it?
Not just the chaos of holiday dinners, but the quiet moments too—when patterns of connection (and disconnection) play out in familiar ways.
Meet Marcus. He's 16, lives in a well-kept house in the suburbs. From the outside, everything looks perfect—good grades, varsity soccer, regular family dinners.
But beneath that surface, there's a constant hum of anxiety. His mom learned early that love meant performing perfection. Her mother's approval always came with conditions.
Now Marcus has internalized these unspoken rules—close enough to look connected, far enough that no one sees the exhaustion.
Now meet James. He's 15, living with his dad and stepmom, plus a new half-sister who gets all the attention. Three moves in four years has taught him not to unpack his boxes completely. He's usually angry, often alone, losing himself in video games until 3am.
His father never learned tenderness—how could he? His own father only knew fists and bourbon. Now that same hard silence fills their house, another inheritance nobody wanted.
These patterns run deep. But if you have even a tiny bit of energy to try something different...
What if we started here:
- Seeing someone's struggle without trying to fix it (that's love too)
- Making space for imperfect connections
- Choosing one small moment of real presence over a thousand perfect performances
- Starting exactly where we are, with exactly who's in front of us
Do you know a Marcus? Or a James?
Maybe you see yourself in their stories.
Maybe you know someone walking a similar path.
What if they knew—really knew—that you feel them, see them, accept them?
Sure, the legacy of disconnection runs deep. We get really good at protecting ourselves. But protection comes with a price: that terrible aloneness none of us were meant to carry.
Here's what I know: When we dare to show up differently—for ourselves, for each other—something shifts. We begin to feel our place in the world. To be seen. To grow love in our hearts, even if it starts as a tiny seed.
Want to put this into action? Here's something real:
Every year, I participate in Hope Beneath the Tree, a program my friends started that connects children of justice-impacted parents with gift-givers in our community.
Last year they helped over 350 kids feel seen and remembered during the holidays. With rising costs hitting families hard, this matters more than ever.
🔑Resource you might (really) love
Grab The Essential Calvin and Hobbes. Sometimes a boy and his tiger understand more about love and connection than any relationship expert ever could. (Makes a great gift too.)
🤔Quote to make you think
"The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love."
- Octavia Butler
Sending love and light to you and all those you care about,
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